I avoid in-person trainings and especially conferences, because my chronic conditions make them quite uncomfortable and even agonizingly painful. I live with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, osteoarthritis and degenerative disc disease (with one terrible herniated disc named Larry), and irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).
But there is one thing I’ve been wanting to do for years and had the means to do this year: attend a writers conference. Without focusing on the pain and challenges, I registered for Thrillerfest in New York City, deciding I’d figure out a way to make it work.
I made it work. And I want to share the hacks I used to make it successful.
1. I arrived a whole day early.
With an entire extra day before the conference began, I was able to unpack, iron, scout the neighborhood for restaurants and shops, and buy food and drinks for the room. I was also able to rest, and it was particularly important for me to have a day with minimal sitting after the train ride hurt my back pretty badly.
2. I rented a fridge.
My hotel room didn’t come with a fridge, but I learned they’ll deliver a fridge to the room for a one-time $50 fee. This was an incredible win, because it gave me so many more healthy food options to keep in my room for breakfast and for sneaking away for a lie-down lunch break. I used my early extra day to have it delivered and to go stock it.
3. I brought a yoga block.
My yoga block has become a travel staple. I use it as a travel Squatty Potty. I also carried it around for the meetings I attended, and it made sitting way less painful. I have short legs, which means standard chairs never give me the correct knees-higher-than-hips sitting position!
4. I wore shoes I could walk miles in.
I’m in enough pain just existing. There’s no way I was going to add to that with shoes. While I get sad that I can’t wear sexy heels–or even better, my sexy western boots–without a lot of pain (due to osteoarthritis in my spine and feet), there are some really adorable fashionable shoe options out there. I love Teva shoes. It’s all I ever wear in the summer. I know my size and can order online and know they fit. I got these two new styles just for this conference and I continue to love them and wear them to dress up.
5. I wore pants with a mid-rise elastic waist.
Constriction around my stomach inflames my irritable bowel syndrome. High-rise pants and tight pants or control-top pantyhose cause pain and bloating. Sitting, with my stomach area folded up, exacerbates this even more. I need pants to fit lower on my belly and not squeeze me. So I have these awesome jogger-style khakis that I bought at Bass Pro Shops (Cabella’s also has these). I can even tuck under the cuffs and drawstrings for a more formal look. I wore only these pants all week … except when I wore dresses for evening events.
6. I tried caffeine eye gel.
I don’t know if it worked or not, but it felt nice! I bought caffeine eye gel to help with the puffy eyes that are inevitable when I’m doing a lot and flaring up my chronic fatigue syndrome.
7. I brought all the stomach meds.
IBS with diarrhea is no fun for travel and meetings, so I made sure I had plenty of over-the-counter anti-diarrhea medications, and they kept me emergency-free! Phew!
8. I brought along my own healthy snacks.
There are snacks that I know won’t upset Harve (that’s what I named my digestive system), and I brought a bunch from home. It helps with my fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome to snack throughout the day. Also just a fun travel hack: dresser drawer cube organizers that fold flat are great to pack along to have storage “baskets” for staying organized.
9. I brought earbuds as earplugs.
Fibromyalgia makes me sensitive to loud noises, and there were some loud microphones in some of the meetings. I just subtly stuffed in my earbuds to mute the noise some, and it made it much more comfortable for me.
10. I became a regular at a pub.
Something so important to managing fatigue is managing my social fatigue. At a conference, especially a professional networking conference, one has to always be “on” … even in the darn elevator! During my extra day before the conference, I found the perfect local bar, and I ended up going there every day. I could pop out the hotel’s side entrance, scoot through 6 1/2 Avenue, and on the next block was my place: Faces & Names. I could walk in to Michael the bartender saying, “Hi Christina!” and sit and have a burger or snack or prosecco and take a much-needed break from having to be my very best self in every single moment. Then I’d sneak back over to the conference refreshed.
11. I color-coded the schedule.
This was my favorite hack of all. Even though the conference was jammed with amazing sessions, and every hour offered something to make me a better writer, I knew I’d have the best experience if I didn’t try to attend a session every hour. I wanted to take breaks. I wanted to lie down. I wanted to sneak over to my pub. I wanted to not feel the push-push-push. And I wanted to not be in agony from sitting in those wretched chairs all day long.
I decided on three categories: must, should, and might. I went through the schedule and highlighted all the sessions I “must” attend in green. I highlighted all the sessions I “should” attend in blue. I highlighted all the sessions I “might” attend in purple. This helped me prioritize my time and take plenty of breaks without any guilt or regret. As long as I went to all the green things, I won! (I went to most of them. I did win.)
This is also a great way to organize daily to-do lists, and it’s a great way to plan a vacation!
12. I stayed an extra day.
Just as I built in an extra day before the conference, I built in an extra day after it. It was so great to not spend the last day of the conference packing. Instead, I got to be intentional and present. Although at that point, I wasn’t attending many sessions. I was fried!
I did really appreciate not having the pressure to be ready to leave first thing after the conference ended. In my final day, I rested, explored a little (Central Park, LEGO Store, Rockefeller Plaza, a celebratory steak dinner), and took my time packing up. Then it was easy getting on the train and heading home the following day.
It was a big win!
All of my strategies and planning worked perfectly. I had an amazing time, made friends, and made contacts. I even connected with a literary agent who is very excited about my novel-in-progress and requested I submit it to her when it’s finished. (This was THE best case scenario of my attending, and OMG, OMG, OMG!!!)
And the very same day I met that agent, I had the loveliest conversation with folks behind me in line at the evening’s cocktail reception (a green-highlight event). I was still aglow and was sharing about the amazing thing that had happened, and they were so excited for me! We chatted more about the conference, about my background as a stand-up comedian (the protagonist in my novel is a comedian), and it was just so nice. THEN I realized I was speaking with one of my favorite authors!!! I then got to fangirl gush and tell Louise Penny that she set the bar for who I wanted to be as a writer. She asked to hug me (yes!!) and said we should take a picture.
