A 3-Spot Check-In

It’s a major drag to feel awful. Having to do it surrounded by people who have no idea what you’re suffering through, or who just don’t believe it’s real, is even worse. Try doing a nice thing for you and a Splattie pal and do this simple, 3-spot check-in. Do it once. Do it weekly. Do it daily. Whatever. Just try it and see where it leads. If nothing else, you two won’t be alone.

1. Each share 2 things you’re grateful for.
2. Each share 2 things that are terrible for you.
3. Each share 2 ways you’re going to practice/are practicing/recently have practiced self-care.

I texted my beautiful, soulful, inspiring, and cool high school pal Misty this week to do this check in.

Misty and I in a high school yearbook club staff photo, 1997.

What I Said

1. Getting gifted homemade soup, and my new petunias.
2. Terrible back pain, and this heat wave making my world that feels like it’s shrunk so much feel even smaller because it’s too hot to go to a park or even chill in my Gratitude Garden.
3. I will use my inversion table and TENS and ice or heat for my back to treat my pain, and I’m going to buy myself some yummy fresh fruit.

What Misty Said

1. Closer relationships with mom and sister-in-law, and compression socks.
2. Multiple days in a row of swollen ankles/legs and having to miss Pilates for the past couple of weeks.
3. Going back to smoothies for lunch, and going to bed when tired instead of pushing through.

What Happened

Because of this exchange, I got to tell someone (who will believe me ) that I am in pain, and that made me feel validated and not so alone. I had to state self-care intentions and therefore will actually follow through with my home treatments that I should be doing. I learned about Misty’s swelling issues and her passion for Pilates, neither of which I knew about! So I can focus better empathy and ask questions about her cool fitness routine.

A Spiritual Use

This is also a great simple structure for meditation and/or prayer! When I talk to God, I love to start with gratitude. It’s how the Lord’s Prayer begins, and it’s also how Paul’s letters — his books of the New Testament — begin. Gratitude is an awesome beginning for anything! Especially when you next ask for something … so in prayer, state what’s terrible and ask for help. Always invite God to help carry your burdens; a “Parent” loves to be there for you and help. Then finally, and I’ve witnessed this, when you take action along with praying for something, it truly bolsters the strength of your prayer. Yes, yes, “give it to God,” but don’t just dump it and walk away. Work on it together, as a divine team.