{"id":2012,"date":"2021-06-05T12:35:14","date_gmt":"2021-06-05T16:35:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.christinairene.com\/wp\/?p=2012"},"modified":"2021-06-05T12:35:14","modified_gmt":"2021-06-05T16:35:14","slug":"13-things-feel-cancel-plans-due-chronic-illness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.christinairene.com\/wp\/archives\/2012","title":{"rendered":"The 13 Things I Feel When I Cancel Our Plans Due to My Chronic Illness"},"content":{"rendered":"

Oh, the things we do with the English language, and being a creative with a degree in English, it often downright delights me. Some of our current linguistic trends, carried by the cool kids, include saying “feels” rather than “feelings” and furthermore calling it a place. That hit me in the feels<\/em>. Us cool kids (yeah, I’ll go ahead and claim it) also like to tack “all the” in front of things in lieu of “many,” “much,” “a lot of,” etc. I shall eat all the puddings.<\/em><\/p>\n

Combine these, and you replace “a lot of emotions” with “all the feels.”<\/p>\n

I set this up to say that when I have to cancel plans because of my chronic illness, it gives me all the feels.<\/em><\/p>\n

Specifically, though, I can list 13 different emotions I experience when I have to cancel:<\/p>\n

\"Screenshot_20210605-122739_Messages.jpg\"<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Scared.<\/strong><\/span> About my future quality of life.<\/li>\n
  2. Guilty<\/span>.<\/strong> Like I’m making an excuse or lying, even though I’m not.<\/li>\n
  3. Remorseful<\/span><\/strong>. Like I’m letting you down.<\/li>\n
  4. Frustrated<\/span><\/strong>. That I don’t have control.<\/li>\n
  5. Angry<\/span><\/strong>. That I’m sick.<\/li>\n
  6. Sad<\/span><\/strong>. That I’m missing out.<\/li>\n
  7. Anxious<\/span><\/strong>. About rescheduling and not overpacking my calendar.<\/li>\n
  8. Worried<\/span><\/strong>. That you’ll think I’m flaky, lazy, selfish, or passing you up for something “better.”<\/li>\n
  9. Nervous<\/span><\/strong>. That you won’t invite me anymore.<\/li>\n
  10. Self-conscious<\/span><\/strong>. About what you might think of me when I do feel better, which could be as soon as the same day, and end up doing some activity and you find out about it.<\/li>\n
  11. Ashamed<\/span><\/strong>. About not “contributing,” that I have no value.<\/li>\n
  12. Jealous<\/span><\/strong>. That you still can.<\/li>\n
  13. Embarrassed<\/span><\/strong>. That this is a thing I do.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    I understand with my brain that it’s not my fault, and I truly am doing my best, but it’s still a battle to fend off all these negative emotions, every time. I just wanted you to know.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Oh, the things we do with the English language, and being a creative with a degree in English, it often downright delights me. Some of our current linguistic trends, carried by the cool kids, include saying “feels” rather than “feelings” … Read More »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2015,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[72],"tags":[109,102,131,108,111,110,134,125],"class_list":["post-2012","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-disabilities-awareness","tag-chronic-illness","tag-disabilities","tag-fibromyalgia","tag-hidden-disabilities","tag-invisible-disabilities","tag-mental-health","tag-self-care","tag-splat"],"yoast_head":"\nThe 13 Things I Feel When I Cancel Our Plans Due to My Chronic Illness - Christina Irene<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.christinairene.com\/wp\/archives\/2012\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The 13 Things I Feel When I Cancel Our Plans Due to My Chronic Illness - Christina Irene\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Oh, the things we do with the English language, and being a creative with a degree in English, it often downright delights me. 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